Our team at BPAR has learned much from one of our favorite writers and TV personalities, Mr. Rogers. Although Fred Rogers is not with us anymore, his perspective on children and families is hands down one of the best we have found.
1. “Children feel far more comfortable and secure when things happen predictably – with routines, rituals and traditions. Those traditions, big or small, create anchors of stability, especially in rough seas.”
2. “Respect the child. Treat him as a person. The best thing a person can feel is to be accepted as he is, not as he will be when he grows up, but as he is now, right this very minute.”
3.“If we grow up fearing mistakes, we may become afraid to try new things. Making mistakes is… a natural part of the way we learn. It’s an important lesson, at any time of life, but certainly the earlier the better. We all make mistakes as we grow, and not only is there nothing wrong with that, there’s everything right about it.”
4.“It may be painful for us to see our children modifying or even rejecting ideas that were important to us and adopting others that could never be comfortable for us. But out of that difference may come the reinforcement of two other important values. One is tolerance, and the other is awareness that people who disagree over the things they hold dear really can live together in love and respect.”
5.“Since we were children once, the roots for our empathy are already planted within us. We’ve known what it is like to feel small and powerless, helpless and confused. When we can feel something of what our children might be feeling, it will help us begin to figure out what our children need from us.”
– from Many Ways to Say I Love You*
*Rogers, Fred. Many Ways to Say I Love You: Wisdoms for Parents and Children from Mister Rogers, Hachette, 2006.
Written by Jennifer Eckert, LICSW
Boston Post Adoption Resources