Why I Care about post adoption support

Why I Care . . .

Statements about why so many of us care about the post adoption experience
and BPAR's mission to support, educate and connect all in the adoption constellation.

Why I Care — Jennifer Eckert (BPAR)

Why I Care

My family is a one parent, transracial adopted family. SO much beauty and SO much complexity. BPAR helps me navigate and unearth all of it."

—Megan C., adoptive parent, BPAR client

Why I Care — Maya Rogers-Bursen (BPAR)

Why I Care about BPAR

Why I Care — Kelly DiBenedetto (BPAR)

Why I Care

"BPAR has given me a safe space to talk about our adoption journey, a spot where I can share all of my thoughts, wonderings, worries, anxieties, highs/lows and wins."

—Megan C., adoptive parent, BPAR client

Why I Care — Marta Isabella Sierra (BPAR)

Why I Care

"Often my children are asked by friends, classmates, and even strangers to explain their presence in their own family and community. BPAR provides them with a refuge to be themselves, no explanation required."

—Adoptive parent, BPAR client

Why I Care about adoption

Why I Care — KC Craig (BPAR)

Why I Care

"We were feeling overwhelmed, unprepared and ill-equipped as adoptive parents at some very important times in our child’s life. The support, resources and perspective that BPAR has given us has been truly invaluable."

—Adoptive parent, BPAR client

Why I Care — LC Coppola (BPAR)

Why I Care

"At BPAR, my children do not need to justify their life. The therapists and staff welcome the complexity of adoption, identity, and loss and walk with my children on their journey to learn, explore, and heal."

—Adoptive parent, BPAR client

Why I Care about BPAR

Why I Care — Erica Kramer (BPAR)

Why I Care

Why I Care

"I care about BPAR because being able to sit and talk for a full hour a week about my son is a Gift. I like how BPAR gives me constructive info, articles, and resources. I always leave a session with a new thought or perspective. BPAR nudges me to better myself and to be a better parent."

—Megan C., adoptive parent, BPAR client

Why I Care Kelsey_350x350

Why I Care

"We are now better able to help our child and ourselves through tough times, emotional situations and even our regular, everyday lives. As a family we work together and support each other in ways we could not before. We love working with BPAR! It has made a huge difference in our lives!"

—Adoptive parent, BPAR client

Why I Care

"I care about adoption support because I believe that everyone should be able to have the same advocacies in order to live a happy and fulfilling life."

—Andrew C.

Why I Care

"My sister is adopted. There are so many layers to adoption and it is great to have support from people who understand! Adoption support can lift you up and help you navigate emotional situations with more confidence."

—Leigh Wynne

Why I Care

"I care because two women who are very special to me are adoptees and have helped me to understand the beauty and complexity of adoption."

—Patti D.

Why I Care

"Children need safeguards to ensure loving homes, and both children and parents need support to understand the issues that arise for everyone. Perhaps the most hidden role in all of this is the role of the birth mother (and the birth father) who surrender their child. The reasons are many - but the issues for them are also deep and lifelong. I am grateful there are wonderful individuals who work to help all sides of the adoption equation."

—Janet Amphlett, Psy.D.

Why I Care

"It is not about finding children for families it’s about finding families for children."

—Ann Singh, BPAR board member

Why I Care

"I grew up on a block with nine very loving adoptive families. But I saw how their beginnings affected my friends, especially in their teens when they struggled with self-esteem, relationships and identity. At a young age, two got pregnant, four married and divorced, and one committed suicide. I support BPAR in honor of my friends who didn’t benefit from therapy when they needed it the most."

—Lucy Davis, BPAR donor

Why I Care

"I care about adoption because it is love."

—Anonymous

Why I Care

"BPAR has given me a safe space to talk about our adoption journey, a spot where I can share all of my thoughts, wonderings, worries, anxieties, highs/lows and wins."

—Megan C., adoptive parent, BPAR client

Why I Care

"I care about adoption because every child deserves a loving family and a place to call home."

—Cindy

Why I Care

"I care about adoption because I respect the incredible responsibility that being a parent entails. When someone is unable to care for a child, it is both painful and courageous to give that child a chance at a healthy life with another parent or family. The parent suffers; the child suffers from the loss but the ultimate goal is worthy and laudable. The adoptive parent must integrate all of that as part of the picture. BPAR offers an invaluable service to all parties and shows people a way forward. "

—Margaret Ris

Why I Care

"While I was not adopted myself, many loved ones of mine have experienced it firsthand. I have seen the many effects it has on one's life, and the difficult questions it brings up along the way. While many are aware of the importance of support at an early age, I believe in sharing the message and showing support for the lifelong journey, the same as for any other type of therapy. "

—Andrew C.

Why I Care

"Adoption touches all of us, whether we know it or not. We are all a part of society, and how we care about each other matters. Adoption provides a way for children who need parents and parents who want children to find each other. We need laws and practices that support all sides of the adoption equation. We all benefit from secure and loving adoption! Some of my favorite people have been adopted or are adoptive parents."

—Janet Amphlett, Psy.D.

Why I Care

"Every person deserves to feel heard, understood, and cared for. Adoption is complicated; there are often parts of a person's story that remain unknown and many, many layers of conflicting emotions. Adoption support is essential in validating and untangling the ever-changing web of thoughts and feelings that come up at different points throughout a person's life. "

—Katie G.

Why I Care

"Adoption is a pathway for the hope and healing that allows children and young adults to transcend trauma rather than transfer it by giving them the love and safe space requisite to supersede loneliness, isolation and despair and live a life of self-assured fulfillment."

—Dan Lebowitz

Why I Care

"Every person deserves a chance at the best possible life they can live, with the support of those willing to adopt. I love hearing the wholesome stories shared by individuals with a connection to adoption and I think I just appreciate the glow come out of people when they share their adoption experiences."

—Tome Barros

Why I Care

"My best friend is adopted. She is one of those people that makes a positive impact in everything she does. Imagining the small town we grew up in without her is impossible. Her story from adoption to now is a success not only because of her innate abilities, but because of her parents’ strength of character and the support she gathered along the way. In these times we live in, a little help or some positive experiences really can change a rough beginning into a bright future."

—Em Hamilton

Why I Care

"The love you have for a child you adopt is no different than love you would have for a child you gave birth to, but adopted children’s’ needs may be very different, and adoptive parents need a lot of support to understand that."

—Deborah, adoptive parent

Why I Care

"As a transracial adoptee from India, I believe adoption support is essential. Everyone deserves support to heal from the trauma they have endured, and transracial adoptees are no exception. Support for adoptees has not always been prioritized, in favor of a rhetoric that adoptees are lucky and that their trauma is erased once they have a family. But still the effects of trauma related to adoption and racism are ever present. That’s why adoption support is so important for adoptees and their families. Thanks BPAR!"

—Malana, adult adoptee

Why I Care

"BPAR has allowed me to delve deeper into my personal adoption story while assisting in building up my self-confidence and mental well-being."

—Adult adoptee client

Why I Care

"I am an adoptive parent and I have come to know through experience that both parents and adoptees need support. Sometimes parents need help understanding the child's perspective on their experience, especially in the years before the child has the ability to explain it themselves. "

—Christina Klein

Why I Care

"The work done in therapy was crucial in preparing me to live my life to the fullest extent and played a great role in my ability to leverage my college experience."

—Adult adoptee client

Why I Care

"I feel it is critical to understand the challenges of adoption and the wonderful results of adopting a child and giving them the gift of family and love."

—Bonnie DiCristofaro

Why I Care

"I care about growing strong families where all members feel safe, understood, and loved. I care about the love that binds us all, and I value the strength that is derived from a sense of belonging."

—Monica Shean

Why I Care

"Adoption support keeps families stronger and everyone's story matters. More adoptees should have access to excellent services like BPAR!"

—Hannah Webber

Why I Care

"There are many adoptees whose life stories are unknown. The support BPAR provides allows adoptees to have someone to walk alongside them when challenges or problems show up. BPAR offers support to adoptees to make sense of their lives through their own preferred story."

—Lisa

Why I Care

"Before my sister began her career as an adoption family therapist, I had no idea how complex and difficult the world of adoption is and the effect it has on so many kids and families in our country and around the world. It’s so important to have access to resources like BPAR for adoptees and their families to be able to get the help they need on their journey."

—Sam Chase

Why I Care

"I am the adoptive parent of East Indian daughters. Parenting always demands all of our wits and abilities to do it well. But transracial/transcultural adoption comes with many additional challenges. Knowing there is a place to go and people to confide in when the going gets rough is such a gift!!! BPAR's staff are all experienced in helping adoptees and their families meet these challenges in thoughtful and creative ways."

—Sally J. Rogers

Why I Care

"Adoption personally impacts several people I know and love and I believe that openly promoting opportunities for support can help people address any issues that arise. "

—Jen

Why I Care

"I think everyone should have the opportunity to grow up with a family! Adoption can make this happen, but families also need to know how to welcome a child into their home with love and how to handle any challenges that arise."

—Maura

Why I Care

"The work done in therapy was crucial in preparing me to live my life to the fullest extent and played a great role in my ability to leverage my college experience."

—Adult adoptee client

Why I Care

"Our two East Indian daughters have been with us since infancy and grew up brown-skinned in a very white community. Having someone for them to talk to when things got tough, especially someone who understood their plight, was key in helping them to develop their personal strength, each in their own way."

—Sally J. Rogers

Why I Care

"Because every adoptee and family deserves to feel held, safe, and supported during the amazing and sometimes challenging journey of adoption."

—Michelle Farrell

Why I Care

"We did not have access to BPAR when our daughters were young and we had to muddle our way through, as best we could. Now others have this incredible resource where it is safe for children and their families to deal directly, honestly and safely with the difficult topics that are often associated with adoption."

—Sally J. Rogers

Why I Care

"We all need support navigating life's challenges and it helps to have guidance from people who are deeply knowledgeable and committed."

—Lillie

Why I Care

"My girlfriend, who is adopted from China, explains to me often the struggles she faces due to being adopted. Over the past year, she has been diving deep into adoption studies through her college and undergoing adoption therapy via BPAR. She has demonstrated her ability to know herself and her needs and also now has a deeper understanding of adoption and its effects."

—Matthew Ferrer

Why I Care

"Adoption is not a one-step process. Parents and adoptees will have questions, issues, and obstacles to overcome on their way to becoming a family. BPAR provides that support."

—Anonymous

Why I Care

"I'm a lucky dad with two wonderful daughters, each born in India. My wife and I thought long and carefully about how to make for them a loving, nurturing home—one where they would know that they belonged. If BPAR were around back then, we wouldn't have had to make it all up by ourselves! Thanks BPAR, you are a vital resource for families like ours, and for many other kinds of families as well."

—Howie Bursen

Why I Care

"Both my girlfriend and I agree that she is fortunate to have BPAR as an easily accessible resource and believe it is a shame that others do not have opportunities like this. This past year, she has shown tremendous growth by taking on her vulnerabilities and dissecting her adoption identity."

—Matthew Ferrer

Why I Care

"Post-adoption resources need to be pushed out to adoptees and their families. Before meeting my girlfriend, I knew very little about adoption and the experiences of adopted people. Now I look at the idea of family in a different way and have a totally different view on adoption itself. I used to think that adoptees were like any other normal children. "If you are raised by good parents, then you will have good outcomes." But it is more than just "that!" Adopted children need different treatment than biological children, and parents need to be trained and educated on this and so does society. "

—Matthew Ferrer

Why I Care

"BPAR is a great resource for adoptees. While waiting for a BPAR spot to open up for individual therapy, I joined a group. This group was eye opening to say the least. Over the course of six months, I learned so much about myself. I was able to unpack the many closed boxes in my mind and release a lot of suppressed emotions. The small group size was great and helped us find the trust in one another to talk about some of our most intimate parts."

—Ling-li Rotella, adult adoptee, client

Why I Care

"I care about adoption support because, as an adult adoptee, I realized at an adoptee support group after meeting others and hearing their beautiful, and courageous truths - that I wasn’t alone and that I did belong! This allowed me to begin to shift the perspectives I long held (consciously and unconsciously) about my own experience. My path to self-love and acceptance continues today and there isn’t anything I wish different about my story."

—John

Why I Care

"With an individual therapist, I continued working on things I had discovered in group therapy with the goal of finding balance within myself. Looking back, I have made so much progress in the last couple of months and feel lighter both mentally and physically. The stuckness I felt is vanishing and has been replaced by a desire to take action on the things that are important to me. I am grateful for everything BPAR has given me and I hope many other adoptees will eventually find their way here."

—Ling-li Rotella, adult adoptee, client

Why I Care

"I have heard about and witnessed the importance of people having access to thoughtful and intentional adoption support!"

—Alicia

Why I Care

"Someone I know and love is adopted. No matter how loving, accepting and nurturing a family is, it doesn’t diminish unanswered questions. Support in any and all aspects surrounding adoption is such a wonderful gift to all involved."

—Nancy M.