Why BPAR Has to Talk About the Hard Stuff in Life After Adoption

the hard stuff in life after adoption

Over the course of our eleven years at BPAR, we have witnessed a drastic change in the complexities faced by the clients coming for post-adoption therapy, especially in the past three years. As an agency, we have responded to that need by hiring more therapists who have specific training in complex trauma and many with lived experiences similar to our clients. Our therapists are trained in varying evidence-based modalities to meet the unique needs of each client.

In addition to our clinical work, we have also responded by curating content and creating new resources that better educate and support our community. In order to address the realities of post-adoption challenges, BPAR has to take a stance and do what is right: we have to talk about the hard stuff.

We are committed to helping our clients heal.

We are committed to helping our clients heal, and we also recognize that this is a nuanced, personal process that takes time—sometimes a lifetime. We also recognize that everyone who comes to us is at a different point in their journey and we understand that individuals may have had wildly different experiences, beliefs, and perspectives. At BPAR, we believe that hearing from others and understanding what someone else has experienced helps to build empathy and therefore helps all of us—including our staff and the community in which we live— grow.

A big part of the healing process begins with education, validation, and empowerment.

In our experience as therapists, a big part of the healing process begins with education, validation, and empowerment.

  • When we EDUCATE, we help clients understand what they are going through—that their experience is real and has a very real impact on their nervous systems, relationships, and functioning.
  • We VALIDATE them by acknowledging that how they are feeling is normal; oftentimes they are reacting normally to a very abnormal situation they experienced.
  • This new insight can feel confusing and make clients doubt themselves. This is where we EMPOWER. Our therapists are trained in helping our clients find the answers within themselves. We help them build community and connections.

Resourced with education and a better understanding of what happened and how it impacts them, an ability to express and release their feelings, and a community of support, our clients can move forward in their lives in a way that supports their lifelong healing.

By sharing knowledge with the larger community, BPAR can help to broadly educate and create empathy and understanding.

We are always trying to figure out the best way to communicate the work we do to our community, but unfortunately confidentiality laws do not allow us to bring our community into the therapy room. Our team of experienced therapists have curated content on specific topics that we share with our clients to help them heal. We also create original educational materials including two published books, website resource pages, and our blog. We hope that by sharing knowledge with the larger community, we can help to broadly educate and create empathy and understanding.

Written by Kelly DiBenedetto, LMHC, ATR
Executive Director of Boston Post Adoption Resources

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About Kelly DiBenedetto, LMHC, ATR

Kelly DiBenedetto, LMHC, ATR is Clinical Director at Boston Post Adoption Resources. To read her bio, please visit BPAR's Team page.