Book Review: In on it: What adoptive parents would like you to know about adoption

In on it by Elisabeth O’Toole is an excellent resource guide for relatives and friends of adoptive families. Elisabeth is a mother of three adopted children and provides real live experiences from her parenting journey that are relatable and entertaining. Her personal experience with adoption allowed her to come up with practical and direct suggestions and advice about how to think about and interact with adoptive families.

The goal of the book is to educate relatives and families about the entire adoption process so that they have an understanding of what to potentially expect. It covers a full range of the adoption process including understanding and respecting why the family decided to adopt, the technicalities of the actual adoption, how to talk about adoption, and how to support the family and child.

There is a gentle and thoughtful undertone throughout the book that helps the reader feel educated and empowered when talking to adoptive families. Elisabeth provides concrete information such as appropriate language and questions to ask, how adoptive parents should respond to inappropriate questions, and how trauma and difficult beginnings impact a child’s emotional development and needs. Each chapter has a section dedicated to specific things that the reader can do to either help the family, help the child, or help the reader further understand the needs of the family.

This is an excellent resource for any adoptive family, a relative or friend of an adoptive family or a professional who works with adoptive families. It normalizes many difficult interactions and conversations that can arise and provides real life helpful information for how to manage them. For more information about the book or to purchase it  click here.

Written by Kelly DiBenedetto, LMHC, ATR
Boston Post Adoption Resources