Search Support

Search Support for Yourself

Are you thinking about searching or already actively searching for your birth family?

The team at BPAR wants to support you along the way. The search process can be overwhelming, consuming, and challenging at times. It can become an all-consuming task that puts stress on your daily life — your relationships, your job, your identity, your emotions — and we want to help you learn how to manage that stress.

What we do to help:

  • Provide a holding space where we help you explore what is coming up for you in your search
  • Work with you to develop skills to manage these emotions
  • Assist you in building your support system at home and in the community
  • Work with you to balance work, life, relationships and searching

Search Support for Your Child

Has your child or teen expressed interest in searching for his or her birth family?

We understand that this can be a complicated issue for both the parent and child. Feelings of guilt and shame for wanting to search for birth parents are very common. We have the resources to work with both you and your teen to help navigate your search in safe and healthy way.

What we do to help:

  • Work with the adoptive parents and child to figure out how to make room for the birth family
  • Help your child or teen explore their feelings and expectations around searching
  • Work with parents and teens to explore boundaries and safety
  • Provide education and support about communication and searching on social media
  • Assist the adoptive parent and child with communicating their fears, hopes and expectations about search and reunion

Search Support for Birth Parents

Are you a birth parent who is searching for a child that you placed?

This can be a sensitive and difficult process. We will guide you through the search with support and care and will help you cope with any challenges that may arise. Our goal is to help you heal and potentially create and foster relationships.

A Search Story in the Words of a BPAR Client

“When I first met Kelly, she happened to be a client in my chair getting her hair done. I asked her what she did for work and she told me she worked for BPAR. I’ve always felt things happen for a reason, and it was amazing how she fell into my hands. I expressed to her how I’ve always wondered about my birth family and recently wanted to start the search for them. Before she left we exchanged emails and I made and appointment with her. Right off the bat I felt very comfortable confiding in Kelly and expressing my emotions to her.

“When I had my first appointment, I was greeted by Kelly and Jennifer, who were both awesome and very understanding about all my thoughts and feelings. I finally felt like someone was hearing me, really hearing me. They explained to me the search process, expectations, and scenarios of what could happen. They worked with my adoption agency in opening up my birth records and getting more info for me. Things happened really fast, and I got a call a couple weeks later with my birth father’s last name. When I hung up the phone I was hysterically crying joyous tears. I felt scared, excited, and relief of finally finding my birth family after all these years of wondering.

“I found out I have two full brothers and two half siblings. I connected with my brothers immediately and we quickly became best friends. I felt like even though I was missing out on them for so long, that they’ve actually been there all along. They filled a hole in my heart that I never even knew existed. I kept in contact with Jennifer and Kelly, and they helped support me and coach me throughout this journey.”

—Lauren, adult adoptee