The Power of Storytelling in Adoption

At BPAR, we are always trying to find ways to help our clients feel connected and understood. As human beings we all want to know that we are not alone, that someone else has been through what we have been through. And although every individual and family we see is different, they do share similar worries, challenges and questions. One of the ways in which we help our clients feel connected is through storytelling.

Folk singer Jonathan Edwards performing with his daughter Grace. Image source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61yGk9ueHsA

 I come from a musical and creative family where I grew up appreciating the value of storytelling through music, writing, video and art. It heavily influenced the reason for pursuing my career in Art Therapy. When I work with my clients at BPAR I incorporate my love of storytelling and creativity as a way to help clients feel connected to their own feelings and experiences.

The culture of my family has allowed me the pleasure of listening to a variety of musicians over the years, one of which is Jonathan Edwards, who also happens to be an adoptee and birth father. Jonathan was adopted as an infant. When he was in college, he and his girlfriend placed a baby for adoption. Later in his life he was reunited with both his mother and his daughter. His daughter actually sings with him on a few songs.

On Jonathan’s latest album, tomorrow’s child, he has a song called “Jonny’s Coming Home” which is a heartfelt, genuine song about his experience and feelings around adoption, being a birth parent, and search and reunion. Jonathan’s song really hones in on so many complex feelings and topics that our clients face. The lyrics of his song (written below) address challenges including questions around identity (Who do I look like? What does my child look like? Do they think of me?), having to sit with the unknown (Why was I placed for adoption? Was I loved?), the desire to search for questions and family members, and the fantasies that adoptees create about their birth families.

As a folk singer and musician, Jonathan is a storyteller. The way in which he sings his own story about adoption is a powerful tool of expression for himself and a vehicle for connection and healing for others. He models the importance of self-expression and how valuable it can be in order to understand your own feelings and experiences.

“Jonny’s Come Home” by Jonathan Edwards
Lyrics

I never knew just who I was much less where I came from,
I guess that’s just the way it is when you’re adopted young.
Why is it that I love to sing? I’m glued to my guitar,
While all the while I felt this ache eating at my heart.

That emptiness it grew and grew with every passing day
Until I couldn’t stand the pain and had to find a way.
I searched and searched across this earth I didn’t have a choice
And all that hurt just disappeared when I heard my mother’s voice.

It’s funny how the winding road meanders through the years
It’s hard to know just where to turn when the map is soaked with tears
Just when I thought I’d always be a man without a past
Jonny’s come home, little Jonny’s come home, Jonny’s come home, at last.

Brenda she was barely born when we had to give her up.
We were only kids ourselves and times were really tough.
Fate it has a crazy way of repeating history,
I never thought I’d have to do what once was done to me.

There’s nothing that can make you feel more unwanted in the world
Then to never know your mother or to know your little girl.
What color were her eyes? Her hair? Was she short or was she tall?
All those thoughts were laid to rest the day my daughter called.

It’s funny how the winding road meanders through the years
It’s hard to know just where to turn when the map is so unclear
Just when I thought I’d always be a man without a past
Jonny’s come home, little Jonny’s come home, Jonny’s come home, at last.

Blog written by Kelly DiBenedetto, LMHC, ATR
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